McDonald’s CEO Should Stick to Business, Leave Burger Crafting to the Experts

Last month, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski took on the monumental challenge of enjoying a hamburger like an everyday person. He referred to the food as “product” on a “sort of bun,” and assured viewers he would finish the rest “for lunch” before taking a bite of the Big Arch burger, staring at it as if it were a medical report. As more clips surface of Kempczinski trying to eat his own creation, one can’t help but wonder: Don’t you have clowns for this?

Kempczinski’s video has sparked a wave of embarrassment among executives from rival fast food chains, all eager to prove that their offerings are not just edible but actually enjoyable! It’s turned into such a spectacle online that people are actively searching for more footage of Kempczinski eating sandwiches in solitude. In one clip, he even attempts some sleight of hand with a napkin while chewing on a mouthful of chicken.

This online frenzy highlights how out of touch Kempczinski seems with his audience. I’m not just referring to the late-night cab drivers or the party-goers needing fries to recover from a wild night, but rather the true burger aficionados of the internet. These are the silent royalty of YouTube, ready to celebrate each new menu item from the comfort of their cars.

Kempczinski’s backdrop? A dull gray office that likely belongs to him, and it doesn’t inspire confidence when you have to squint to see if he asked everyone to leave the common area. His outfit? Not much better—he resembles Tintin’s uncle. Now, let’s contrast that with a pro like Joe from Joe is Hungry.

In Joe’s Big Arch video, he showcases the hamburger as if Xzibit just unveiled a new ride. He brings the Big Arch home to his den, adorned with fast food memorabilia like it’s the Batcave, but with a clown twist. He dives into the details of the sandwich’s weight, juiciness, and flavor as if he’s giving stock tips on cable news. He even enjoys the Big Arch to wedding anniversary music, rating it a 7.0, but you can tell he genuinely loves these burgers.

McDonald’s stands as one of the most influential corporations in the world. They were there when the Berlin Wall fell, ready to serve ‘90s Russians reconstituted chicken paste. They’re a permanent fixture in American culture, from their unconventional franchise practices to the critics upset about their fry cooking methods. Their branding, from Ronald McDonald to the golden arches, has become shorthand for critics as symbols of greed and imperialism. They even have a trading card game.

So, how far has Kempczinski fallen in his own ecosystem that he feels the burden of promoting these sandwiches rests solely on him? This isn’t “pink slime” territory, but the general sentiment since his influencer debut has been that it was an unconvincing pitch. The internet can provide a relatable face for him and McDonald’s through personalities like Reviewbrah, JoeysWorldTour, and Peep. Most of us indulge in junk food when hunger strikes. The web has birthed a new breed of food enthusiasts whose cravings run deeper, almost spiritual. They are the professionals of eating sandwiches on camera. The higher-ups at McDonald’s should know better than to overlook the artistry of their craft.