Where’s Cid’s Chest Hair in Final Fantasy VII Revelation?

Square Enix has dropped some new clips from Final Fantasy VII Revelation that really resonate with me as a player who isn’t swayed by sprawling open worlds or a narrative that’s been all over the place. What truly pulls me into the third installment of Square Enix’s Remake trilogy? The quirky charm of its party members. And what’s even more enticing? Catching a glimpse of the guys in their new swimwear during the game’s hot springs scenes. After giving the ladies their moment in Rebirth with adorable swimsuits in Costa del Sol, it’s the guys’ turn to soak up the sun, and fans of the boys are in for a treat with unlockable costumes that can be used throughout the game, as confirmed by director Naoki Hamaguchi. But seriously, why does Cid look as smooth as Cloud’s twink physique?

The two clips showcase some hilarious moments of the party enjoying the hot springs together. One features Cloud, Red XIII, and Barret attempting to balance rubber chocobos on their heads, while the other shows Barret and Cid stumbling upon Vincent, who’s bathing in full combat gear. Despite my gripes with the Remake trilogy, I can’t deny it shines in these fun, lighthearted moments. It’s clear that Square Enix has a genuine affection for these characters and loves playing with their dynamics in charming ways amidst all the emotional highs and mini-game overload. I’m sure when we hear these scenes in English, the voice cast will bring them to life for those of us who can’t grasp the Japanese dialogue in these clips. But I’m more focused on what I can see rather than what’s being said, and I’ve got some feedback for Square Enix.

Barret is spot on. No changes needed. You’re making up for that sailor suit in Rebirth, where he could have been flexing his muscular self as intended, and I appreciate it. However, I have some concerns about Cid. Instead of portraying the grizzled, world-weary 32-year-old (who’s actually 47) as a rugged, hairy-chested figure, Square Enix has opted to make him look like a hairless twink. I get that you took away his cigarettes, but he can still have a touch of ruggedness, right?

Some games completely skip body hair on character models, which I’ve lamented in titles like Dragon Age: The Veilguard, where you can customize your character but everyone, from the twinkiest elf to the burliest dwarf, is smooth below the neck. However, Final Fantasy VII Revelation and its predecessors don’t fall into that trap. Barret has a hairy chest, so it’s clear Square isn’t shying away from including it as a standard. It was refreshing when Wolverine made its claw-wielding hero hairy in all the right places (though, seriously, does he shave his pits?). So when I see Cid, who’s supposedly 32 but looks more like Cloud, I want to sit someone down at Square Enix and say, “Hey, spiritually, this man should have a fuzzy chest, and we all know it. Revelation isn’t set to release on PC, PS5, Switch 2, and Xbox Series X/S until April 8, so there’s still time to fix this.”